The Language of Flowers: When Your Bouquet Says More Than Your Texts

Ever handed someone a bouquet and wondered what you were really saying?

Did you know that flowers once had a secret life of passing notes, dropping hints, and full-on gossiping—without saying a word? Welcome to the language of flowers, also known as floriography, a Victorian-era social code so polite, it could scandalize you with a bouquet.

Let’s dig into the roots of this fragrant tradition, find out what your flowers are really saying, and meet the floral A-listers (and lesser-known wallflowers) of the secret garden society.

 

A Brief History of Floriography

Long before emojis were a thing, people used flowers to express the inexpressible. The “language of flowers” bloomed in Victorian England and France, around the early 19th century, where society’s stiff corsets and even stiffer etiquette rules meant direct communication—especially flirtation—was a no-no. Enter flowers, stage left, with all the subtlety of a raised eyebrow at a dinner party.

Inspired by Turkish flower symbolism (which Europeans encountered through travelers and translated rather liberally), the Victorians created their own floral dictionary. Need to say "I love you," "I'm sorry," or "Back off, Karen"? There was a bloom for that.

Entire books were published to help you decode the floral code—some even contradicting each other. Because who doesn’t want romance with a side of confusion?

Flower Symbolism in Art, Literature & Pop Culture

The language of flowers hasn’t stayed tucked away in dusty Victorian books. It’s been blooming in art, literature, and pop culture for centuries.

• Shakespeare was a fan—Hamlet’s Ophelia gives out symbolic flowers before her descent into madness. Rosemary (remembrance), pansies (thoughts), and fennel (flattery or deceit) weren’t random picks—they were poetic jabs wrapped in petals.
• Van Gogh’s sunflowers weren’t just still-life practice. They symbolized gratitude and hope, reflecting his desire to create a warm, welcoming space.
• Modern media: In Bridgerton, the floriography trend reappears in coded love letters and carefully chosen corsages. Even animated films like Tangled, centre around a magical flower with healing power (a nod to the spiritual side of floral symbolism). 

Floriography pops up when someone wants to say something without spelling it out. It's the OG subtext.

 

Floriography in Practice: Real-Life Flower Dictionaries

By the mid-1800s, flower dictionaries were all the rage. You didn’t dare buy a bouquet without checking the meaning. Here are a few real entries from historical floral dictionaries:

• Amaryllis – Pride
• Anemone – Forsaken
• Camellia (White) – You’re adorable
• Carnation (Striped) – I can’t be with you (brutal)
• Marigold – Grief or jealousy
• Sweet William – Gallantry
• Zinnia – Thoughts of absent friends 

Conflicting definitions existed too. One book’s "friendship" was another’s "spite." So if your 19th-century crush sent you lavender, were they devoted—or bored? Time to panic.

DIY: Create a Meaningful Garden or Bouquet

Whether you’re planting a garden, curating a bouquet, or just want to feel mysterious while watering your snapdragons, you can use flower meanings to create something deeply personal.

Symbolic Garden Ideas:

• Love Garden: Red roses, tulips, bleeding hearts, honeysuckle
• Memory Garden: Rosemary, forget-me-nots, poppies
• Friendship Garden: Sunflowers, chrysanthemums, pink carnations
• Peace Garden: White lilies, lavender, chamomile, olive trees (if you're in a warmer zone!) 

Build-Your-Own Bouquet:

Pick 3–5 flowers that symbolize your message. For example:

• “Thanks for being there”: Yellow rose (friendship), ivy (fidelity), zinnia (lasting affection)
• “I like you but don’t want to say it out loud”: White violet (modesty), daisy (innocence), red tulip (love) 

Bonus points if you hand the bouquet over with a smug grin and refuse to explain it.

 

The Emotional & Healing Side of Flower Meanings

Beyond coded messages and polite Victorian shade, many flowers hold emotional and even spiritual significance.

• Chamomile is linked to relaxation and calm—no surprise it’s a tea-time fave.
• Lavender soothes anxiety and helps with sleep.
• Rosemary boosts memory and has been used in ceremonies from weddings to funerals.
• Calendula (marigold) is used in salves for healing wounds, symbolizing comfort and protection. 

If you’re into herbalism or energy healing, planting a garden with this in mind turns your flowerbed into a mini wellness retreat.

Weddings, Funerals & Flower Etiquette

Flowers have long been part of rituals and ceremonies—for good reason.

At Weddings:

• Brides often choose flowers with symbolic meanings. Lily of the Valley (happiness), ivy (fidelity), and stephanotis (marital bliss) are common picks.
• The language of flowers can personalize a bouquet or centerpieces with messages of love, hope, or remembrance. 

At Funerals:

• White lilies are traditional for purity and restored innocence.
• Chrysanthemums are used in Europe and Asia to symbolize grief or mourning.
• Forget-me-nots and rosemary for remembrance. 

Knowing these meanings adds another layer of thoughtfulness—and avoids accidental faux pas (like giving yellow roses when you meant love, but accidentally said “just friends”).

 

Modern Revival of Floriography

There’s a quiet floriography renaissance happening. People are turning back to slower, more intentional ways of communicating—letter-writing, pressed flowers, cottage gardens, and yes, floral symbolism.

Florists, wedding planners, and even therapists use the language of flowers to design meaningful spaces and moments.

You’ll also find:

• Flower subscription boxes that include meaning cards.
• Tattoo designs using symbolic flowers.
• Plant-based skincare and perfumes choosing ingredients for both scent and symbolism. 

It’s a small rebellion against emoji-overload and digital noise—and honestly, we’re here for it.

Top 10 Fun Flower Meanings 

1. Snapdragon – Strength and deception (pretty and shady!)
2. Foxglove – Insincerity (also potentially poisonous… so fitting)
3. Hydrangea – Gratitude or frigidity (depending who you ask)
4. Aster – Symbol of patience (or an “I’ll wait forever” vibe)
5. Gardenia – Secret love (very Jane Austen)
6. Tansy – Hostility (don’t invite it to brunch)
7. Yarrow – Healing and protection (your flower-bodyguard)
8. Bluebell – Humility and constancy
9. Heliotrope – Eternal love and devotion (it follows the sun!)
10. Scabiosa – Unfortunate name, lovely meaning: pure love

 

Common Flowers and Their Meanings

Let’s start with the usual suspects—flowers you’ve seen in every grocery store bouquet and wedding aisle, each one humming its own secret tune:

Roses

• Red – Love and passion (no surprises here)
• White – Purity and innocence
• Yellow – Friendship or jealousy (Victorians were messy)
• Pink – Gratitude and admiration
• Orange – Desire and enthusiasm 

Sunflower

• Adoration, loyalty, and happiness. The cheeriest stalk in the garden. 

Lily

• White Lily – Purity, renewal, and rebirth (often used at funerals)
• Calla Lily – Magnificent beauty (and stylish drama) 

Peony

• Romance, bashfulness, and—depending on the culture—good fortune or shame. Yep, pick your adventure. 

Daisy

• Innocence, purity, and new beginnings. Basically the cottagecore of flowers.

Tulip

• Red Tulip – A declaration of love
• Yellow Tulip – Cheerfulness (or hopeless love in Victorian texts…ouch)

Rare or Uncommon Flowers and Their Meanings

Let’s show some love to the underappreciated blooms—the ones with stories that never make it to the bouquet.

Black Dahlia

• Betrayal or danger. Beautiful but brooding, like the film noir of flowers.

Belladonna Lily (Naked Lady)

• Surprise or mystery. She shows up suddenly in late summer, just like your in-laws.

Borage

• Courage and bravery. A hairy herb with heart.

Lungwort

• Devotion and affection. Ugly name, lovely meaning.

Coriander (Yes, the herb!)

• Hidden worth. So maybe it tastes like soap to some, but it’s got a good heart.

Agrimony

• Thankfulness and gratitude. A medieval medicinal plant with a soft side. 

The Language of Flowers Across Cultures 

Floriography wasn’t just a Victorian quirk—it has deep roots worldwide:

• Japan has Hanakotoba, a floral language used in art and poetry.
• China associates peonies with wealth, and chrysanthemums with longevity.
• Indigenous North American cultures used plants and flowers in spiritual, ceremonial, and healing practices—each plant with specific meaning and purpose.
• In Mexico, marigolds (cempasúchil) are used during Día de los Muertos to guide spirits back to the living world.

Speaking Flower Today

You can still woo, thank, or roast someone with flowers today. Want to:

• Apologize? Try blue hyacinths (sincerity and regret).
• Flirt? Go with lavender (devotion) or purple lilac (first love).
• Ghost someone politely? Maybe send cyclamen (goodbye). 

And if you’re just here for the aesthetic, that’s cool too. Sometimes a sunflower is just a sunflower.

 

Final Thoughts: Let Your Garden Do the Talking

The language of flowers is part history, part art, part heartfelt soap opera. Whether you're planting a garden that tells your story, sending a bouquet with subtext, or just flexing your floral knowledge at the dinner table (do it, be that person), flower meanings bring layers of meaning to the blooms around us.

So next time you hand someone a bouquet, remember—you might be sending more than just a pretty bunch of petals. You might be sending a love letter, a goodbye, or a bold “you got this” tucked between the stems.

Either way, your flowers are talking. Make sure they’re saying the right thing.

 

Bonus Tip:

Create your own personal floral code. Assign meanings to the plants in your life and build a garden that says what you mean… even when you don’t feel like talking.

Happy gardening!